Acts intended to Alarm Her Majesty

Back in November of last year, a couple of months before we started dating, I emailed SouthernKitten the following link under the subject "Kentucky in the Canadian News" Bathe yearly, or else. She didn't think it was as funny as I did for some reason. Well, today I'm bringing to your attention something that's possibly more silly in the Canadian Criminal Code: Criminal Code, [R.S., c. C-46] 49. Acts intended to alarm Her Majesty or break public peace. It's short, and that link is mostly to assure you that I am not making this up. It reads as follows:

"Every one who wilfully, in the presence of Her Majesty, (a) does an act with intent to alarm Her Majesty or to break the public peace, or (b) does an act that is intended or is likely to cause bodily harm to Her Majesty, is guilty of an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding fourteen years."

Ok, (b) is completely reasonable. Causing bodily harm to Her Majesty just isn't a nice thing to do, and frankly, if fourteen years is all you get, you should consider yourself lucky. (You will also likely be roughed up by a guy in a big furry hat, which bears a certain ignomy all its own...)

But section (a) seems a little harsh. What constitutes "Alarming" Her Majesty is a bit vague. Would sneaking up behind Her Majesty and saying "BOO!" land you fourteen years in the clink? What about a particularly well brought up belch at the dinner table? Those offences really strike me as simply rude, or perhaps even a social faux pas. I'm also a little concerned that someday I might walk up behind Her Majesty a bit too quietly and accidently startle Her. I do that to people sometimes.

Anyway, if by some fluke of cyberspace Her Majesty happens to stumble upon this humble blog...

BOO!