Oops

Because I'm feeling a little lazy today I'm going to post a classic CanadaDave story about a moment of unsurpassed brilliance. I'd documented it at the time, so this post is mostly a cut and paste job. It's the tale of the time I managed to lock myself out of the house for the second time in two weeks. (Including one time this summer I've now done that a total of three times... The first time was uneventful but maybe I'll post the story of the most recent time later. it's kinda funny too...)

I'd been going out to buy a few miscellaneous groceries and when I closed the door behind me and had the sudden, nagging feeling that something was terribly amiss… I checked my pockets. Crap. No keys. “Well,” I thought, “This sucks…” And I figured that I was going to have to call and get Weregirl (who as well as being my friend is also my landlord) to come and let me in… However, seeing as I was embarrassed to have locked myself out in the first place, did’t want to bother her and wasn't even sure that she’d be back from a trip she and one of her roommates had taken to Toronto that day, I decided that I was going to try reaching in through a missing window on my porch and unlocking the door that way. Weregirl had done this the summer before when we couldn’t find the keys, so I knew that is was at least possible… It is, mind you, worth noting that she is smaller than me. MUCH smaller… But, at that point, this still seemed like a pretty reasonable idea…

So, I took off my jacket, emptied my pockets, climbed up on the ledge and gave it a go.. My head got in without a hitch. Then my shoulders. Chest…. Nope. The lock was tantalizingly close. I could almost feel it, but it was still far enough that this wasn’t going to work. I got down from the ledge…

I was soooo close, though… I started casting about for ideas… Maybe if I could find a stick I could use that to turn it… Maybe I could pick the lock.. Maybe there was another way in…

Then I remembered that I was wearing a sweatshirt. It wasn't overly thick, but I didn’t need much more clearance… I had a t-shirt on underneath, so I wouldn’t be walking around half naked or anything…

Off came the sweatshirt and up I went. I was even closer this time. Still not all the way there, though. And… Wait… If I shimmied a bit I could get even closer… Closer… Closer… Got it! Victory!! Now I could just hop down and walk on in…

Yuh-huh. This is failing to take into account that at that point I was firmly wedged halfway in and halfway out of the stupid window. I tried to pull out… Yup. Pretty stuck… Not really going anywhere… I considered going all the way through… A little mental math suggested that there was, however, no way on this Earth that my hip bone was going to fit through that narrow opening.. K… Hmmm… That sucked… I began to wonder how long it would be before someone found me… Long time I thought… My cell phone was over on the porch with my jacket and sweatshirt… Besides, this was even more embarrassing than locking myself out… My legs were getting tired… This really was not a comfortable position….

K… I really couldn’t stay like that…. I kept squirming, trying one method after another, trying desperately to free myself from this amazingly stupid situation… Finally, after what seemed like an eternity… Ouch, oww, ouch, ouch, I was out!

I calmly opened the door and walked into the house…

Lessons learned…

1. Always, always, always check to ensure I have keys before closing the door.
   
2. There are more embarrassing things than locking oneself out.
   
3. If necessary, I could get in using the window trick. It just hurt. A lot.
   
4. I should secure my home a little better
   (Which I did. This technique no longer works to break into my house...)
   

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In other news, you may have noticed that I'm experimenting with a little animated title thingy at the top of my page. Leave me a comment and let me know what you think. I may keep it, I may not...

Also, SouthernKitten has safely returned from her trip to Reno!