Merry Christmas

Best of the season, whatever the holiday you're celebrating.

Stranded

Almost all of Ontario, as well as a lot of places in this part of the world, got a fair bit of snow yesterday. It wasn't the first snow of the year, but it may be the first snow that sticks and was definitely the first big dump of the year.

It wasn't a surprise. The day before the radio had been saying "If you want to leave town, do it now". I couldn't because I had some loose ends at school that I wanted to tie up before I left. So I stayed and waited for the oncoming storm, hoping that as usually seems to happen here, the forecasters would predict a huge storm and it would completely fail to materialize.

My plan had been to leave this morning. This morning the roads were chaos. I decided I'd wait until the roads cleared up. The roads persistently remained chaotic. I'd check the highway status on the web every couple hours. Eventually, I decided that I'd leave when all the sections of highway I needed were open at once. This did not happen until after five. Since it's over a five hour drive, I decided that driving in the dark and the snow didn't seem like a good idea. Especially in my car, which is rear wheel drive and has less then optimal tires on it at the moment.

My car is not a good winter car. It's good in the spring, fantastic in the summer, lots of fun in the fall, but winter... No good. Imagine, if you will, a road with the smallest possible hill on it. Now put an inch of snow on that hill. Most cars, no problem. My car, will slide backwards.

Getting home should be fun.

But it could be a lot worse. Take WereGirl, for example, who is currently sitting stranded somewhere in the Calgary airport. If she is very lucky she may get home for Christmas, in 2005.

Both Mary and SouthernKitten should also be traveling tomorrow. Mary, like WereGirl, by air and SK, like me, by car. I hope they both have better luck.

In fact, a lot of people out there will be traveling tomorrow, if you're driving please be very careful. Especially if you're driving near me.

Cold Cold

Cold Cold Canada is really living up to it's name this week. As I glance at the weather it's currently -15 C in Windsor, -27 in Orillia (where I will be later this week).

Living here in the far southern reaches of Canada seems to have thinned my blood a little. There was a time when -15 wouldn't have bothered me that much. Now I consider it really rather cold.

Only a couple of years ago I was much tougher.

That year I went on a January business trip to Timmins, Ontario. (Home of Shania Twain, which they seem extremely proud of)

For those of you unfamiliar with Northern Ontario, Timmins is here:


Note that I currently live just across the border from Detroit, and Orillia is just a little north of Toronto. So far as Ontario is concerned, Timmins is pretty far north.

I was traveling with three coworkers who were raised a little further south than I was. I'd wander about Timmins, coat unzipped, laughing at the silly southerners who'd sprint from car to building, and then shiver for half an hour.

And, of course, going a little further back, those of you playing the home game my remember that a little over a decade ago (wow, I'm old), I was a ski instructor. I pushed small children around in the snow in -30 C weather and would sometimes declare "I am a ski instructor! I do not GET cold!"

That was then, this is now. I am no longer a ski instructor and -27?

Cold

Beer Commercials

In Cold Cold Canada, much the way it is in the US and perhaps the rest of the world, the quality of a beer is usually inversely proportional to how funny its commercials are. In other words, the funnier the commercial, the worse the beer.

In the US, a great example is Budweiser/Bud Lite. Funny commercials, bad beer. (Though embarrassingly my and DevilBoy's beer of choice when we were in high school and didn't know any better.)

I had some links to a few good ones here, but the page I was linking to seems to disagree with linking to it. So go to http://www.canada4life.ca/ and use the "Video" link on the left side to check them out. The vast majority are ads for Molson Canadian. But despite the funniness. Do not be tempted. Trust me. It's bad beer.

Snow

It snowed here overnight in temperate temperate Windsor. It's not the first snow of the year, but it's the first substantial snow. Previous efforts were more light dustings. Snow that didn't even fully cover the grass and lasted less than a day.

When I woke up this morning and looked out the window my first thought was "Oh my God, my car's been stolen!!"

"Wait... No... It's still there, just hard to see as it's white, as is everything else... Wow! Snow!"

It takes me a while to get coherent in the morning.

Now, this is still pretty minor so far as snow goes, even in Windsor, which doesn't seem to get that much. Also for Toronto, which gets about the same amount of snow as Windsor, just doesn't deal with it very well.

I've been through some heavy snows. One of the more memorable ones was in the aforementioned Toronto... It was about 80 cm (over 30 inches) of snow over a couple of days. In and of itself that's not that bad, but Toronto doesn't really have the equipment to deal with that much snow, nor anyplace to put it.

I woke up that morning and found that the world was white and the wind currents behind my house had apparently caused a snow drift to form around my car. Also, the parking lot immediately behind my house had found it convenient to blow their snow into my driveway. I was not overly impressed.

I valiantly (and vainly) tried to get to work anyway. First, I dug out my car as my idiot roommates watched from inside the warm house. I say idiot roommates because they had actually buried it as a joke the night before and instead of helping me dig it out they were amusing themselves by watching me struggle with it. (Ha. Ha. Ha. Idiots) Then once that was done, I made an effort to get through the mammoth pile of snow the innept parking lot people had left. One man and a shovel wasn't going to cut it. Today I'd call the lot management and berate them until someone came to fix that, but for some reason I didn't think of it that day.

I called into work that I wasn't going to make it in. It was just as well, really, I'd have been practically alone if I had shown up.

Toronto had to call in the army to help dig out of that snow, but eventually things got back to normal. It was a bit smoother here today. The snow melted by itself by sundown.

Snowbirds

Two planes from the Snowbirds, the Canadian Air Force's air demonstration team collided this morning. One pilot was killed, and another ejected from his aircraft and is currently in hospital.

The Snowbirds are spectacular to watch. I don't know how many times I've seen them, but it's certainly got to be somewhere around twenty. One of those times, unfortunately, had an outcome not unlike today's accident.

It's been a birthday tradition of mine for years to go to the Canadian International Air Show Labour Day weekend at the CNE. At first, my dad would drive me and a few friends down for the show, later I drove myself and when I lived in Toronto I'd bike or take transit to get there. This year, SouthernKitten and I went to Toronto for it.

In 1989 I went down to celebrate my 14th birthday. DevilBoy was definitely along for the trip, and I think Eggman may have been, too. We arrived and made our way to my favourite spot on a gravel beach. We got settled he show started with a performance by the Snowbirds. The first part of the performance went smoothly, then the team went into a maneuver called the "Upward Downward Bomb burst" involving half the team heading up from low level, and the other half heading from higher up, passing each other then switching on the smoke and splitting up. Normally it was very spectacular looking.

I first noticed that this was not a normal show when I saw the splash of a plane sized object going into the lake. At first I thought one of the planes had dropped something as part of the show. Then I noticed that another was on fire. That pilot ejected, and there was another splash as that plane went into the lake. Moments later we noticed a parachute drifting down. Once he hit the water, the downed aviator was picked up right away.

The crowd, including everyone in my group, was stunned. Had we just seen what we thought we had? Would they announce what had happened? Would the rest of the show be cancelled? What was going on?

I wouldn't learn the details of the accident until I got home. Apparently it's air show tradition to continue an air show (assuming it's safe to do so) after an accident, so the show went on.

Eventually I learned what had happened. Two of the planes on their way down had collided. Captain. Shane Antaya whose hometown was here in Windsor, never pulled up. Major Dan Dempsey, the team lead, pulled out of the maneuver only to have his aircraft catch fire. He ejected safely, and was hospitalized due to burns suffered in the fire.

That was a sad day for the team, just as today was. But they recovered and took to the skies again a short time later, as I know they will this time.

Shopping cart

Evidence of the decline of western civilization, I believe, can be found in supermarket shopping carts. Yes, shopping carts. Those wheeled contraptions that you merrily push through the supermarket as you do your grocery shopping.

The evidence, specifically, can be found in what happens to the carts after they have been unloaded in the parking lot, and you're ready to head home. Do you put it in the conveniently located cart depots, usually located no more than fifty feet from where you parked? Or do you just leave it in the middle of the lot, taking up a parking space, or possibly rolling into someone else's car? The consequences aren't your problem, really. By the time that happens you'll have hopped in your car and be headed home to enjoy your purchases. Of course that shows a staggering amount of laziness and complete disregard for the welfare of your fellow shoppers.

Now, parking lots here in Cold Cold Canada tend to be mostly free of this problem. I'll cover the problems here in a moment or two. US parking lots (particularly Walmart lots), however, seem to be clogged with rogue shopping carts. My first exposure to this problem occurred years ago when I was visiting Eggman's family cottage in New Hampshire. Of course, the lot at the local grocery store had abandoned carts everywhere. Upon leaving the store we even caught a woman red handed abandoning her cart immediately behind my car. Clearly, I was going to have to move it to get out. Possibly it could have been caught in a gust of wind and dinged my car. Obviously those were not her problem. When asked why she was leaving it there she quietly apologized and hustled the cart into it's designated place, not twenty feet away. Visiting SouthernKitten in Kentucky has really shown me the extent of this problem. Carts are everywhere. More than once I have left the store and found that one had rolled into my car.

The problem in Canada seems to be with people "borrowing" the carts and leaving them in annoying places. Like, for instance, my front lawn. I awoke this morning to find one of these lovely contraptions there. It was not there when I came home last night, but there it was when I looked out my window at the rain this morning. I went out to examine it and push it off my lawn to the curb. A preliminary examination revealed very little as to the origin of the heap of metal sitting on my muddy lawn. "The Smart Choice" declared the handle. I had thought that if I could identify the rightful owner of the cart, they'd be happy to come take it off both my hands and my lawn. Thing is, I'm pretty sure that all supermarkets consider themselves "The Smart Choice" and searching Google for the phrase proved to be futile. A second, slightly more thorough examination yielded better results. "Price Chopper" was emblazoned on the bottom of the kiddy seat. Now I had an owner!

I called the store before class today. The gentleman I spoke to promised they'd come get it, but didn't seem overly meticulous in getting my address right. Guess we'll see if it's still there tomorrow.

The point of all of this really is that shopping carts demonstrate to me how so many people care so little for what happens to their neighbours. Disposing of a shopping cart properly in the lot doesn't take much effort. Whereas, transporting one the over five kilometers from the store to my home does. It's attitudes like that that surely will someday spell the ruin civilization.

But until then, anyone want a shopping cart?

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In interesting internet finds today, I direct you here.

I know that for years Americans have been sewing Canadian flags on their backpacks when they travel in Europe, but this really brings it to a new level.

Bush-apalooza

George W. Bush visited Canada last week, and for several days it seemed that the news media could talk about nothing but the visit and the protests it inspired. As someone whose views are pretty centrist and moderate (for Canada, in my opinion) both sides of the issue irritated me.

First of all, anyone who knows me, or has read any of the even vaguely political entries in this blog will know that I'm not fond of Bush. That being said, I had no problem with him coming to pay us a visit. Like it or not, he is the leader of our neighbour, biggest trading partner and closest ally. Some of the things on his agenda could have happened a little sooner (three years to thank the people of Halifax for taking stranded Americans into their homes on 9/11? C'mon, I know you can do better than that. Those who were stranded certainly have), but whatever. What specifically irritated me about the Bush visit was the content of what he said, and did not say. There are a couple of things that are huge deals in this country with regard to our relationship with our neighbours to the south. (Well, north from Windsor, but I digress) Among them are the issues like the ongoing dispute over softwood lumber and the current ban on importing Canadian cattle into the US. Lip service was barely paid to these issues. These were the things we wanted to hear about, but instead we heard very little on them and a lot on missile defense.

There are a few problems with missile defense. Primarily that it's ludicrously expensive and just plain doesn't work. Even if it worked as advertised (it doesn't), it still would do precious little to save the US from a nuclear attack. Honestly, any country with the wherewithal to build a nuclear warhead and an ICBM is going to know that using them against the US would mean that they would be vapourized minutes later. There are other, safer, less obviously traceable ways to use a nuclear warhead against the United States. For instance, there is enough commercial traffic into and out of the US that hiding a warhead on a ship or a plane would not only be more effective, but frankly, easier and cheaper than building and using an ICBM.

But W wants to do it anyway, and he'd really like it if we were in on it. And, despite the above, there are some good reasons for Canada to be involved. Mostly that Bush is going to do it with or without us, and because one of the most likely trajectories for an ICBM strike on the continental United States is over the north pole, we're kinda stuck in the crossfire. So, it'd be nice if we had some say with regard to when/if the system is used and where any highly radioactive missile debris might fall.

This puts Canada in a rather difficult situation. Really, we'd rather GW pack up those toys and go home, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. Reminding us of that every seventeen seconds while you're here is just irritating. Shut up.

My other irritation was the protesters. Clearly I sympathize with a lot of what they were trying to say, but their methodology stinks. We had such creative displays as a group who brought a meter and a half tall effigy of Bush to Ottawa and then encouraged passers by to beat. Way to stand up for peace. Another great moment was the call some of them made for Bush to be arrested and tried for war crimes while has here. Yeah... That'd go over really well. Do you really think we could capture the man billed as the "Leader of the free world" without some sort of fight? And assuming we managed to somehow get around or dispose of the United States Secret Service, how long do you think we could hold him without the Americans coming north to liberate him and perform some "regime change"?

Even the more reasonable protests irritated me. How much do you think you're hurting Bush by blocking an intersection or fighting with the police? Let me assure you, not much. You are, however, getting in the way of average Canadians who have their own lives to lead and don't appreciate you and your beliefs getting in their face for no good reason. Have you let people know that you care deeply about this important issue? Sure, but they're too busy swearing at you to really embrace your point of view.

Well, if nothing else, the visit did inspire a decent, honest to God, rant, so I guess that much is good...

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In rant related news, when I first started this blog I had every intention of doing a lot more ranting on it than I currently do. So far it's been mostly stories and the odd rant here and there. To that end I'm currently contemplating changing the name from "Rants from Cold Cold Canada" to something a little more accurate. Possibly just "Cold Cold Canada", possibly "Stories (or Tales) from Cold Cold Canada". Let me know if you have any thoughts or suggestions on the matter...